This is Payton. He is a praying mantis. His name is clearly very cringe. He also can be considered an atheist, for he does not truly believe in the existence of God. He is also Swedish.
The other day, he had a quarrel with his girlfriend, whom he will eventually engage in intercourse with, during which she will be devouring his head (but that’s aside from the point).
After the argument, she stormed out of the house (which was a tree branch). That night, Payton couldn’t sleep and whispered a plea for God to help him out. It went something like this: “Oh God, please let her come back and just forget about all this, I wish there was a way to reverse time so we never quarrelled in the first place. Please, please, please God, if you can make her come back I will maybe start to believe in you, otherwise you’re an asshole.”
Oh no. Did you spot that hypocrisy? How could a praying mantis who doesn’t believe in God pray to God? What a hypocrite. Come on, let’s ask Payton to explain himself.
Why Payton doesn't believe in God
Let’s start by asking Payton why he doesn’t believe in the existence of God.
PAYTON:
Well, I’m not religious, so I don’t believe in any specific deity. I believe more in the modern-day idea that I can create my own meaning in life, just go read any modern self-help book and you’ll know what I mean.
I’m an agnostic atheist, meaning a person who doesn’t believe we can know for certain whether a God exists or not, but chooses not to believe in God. By the way, am I getting paid for this interview? How long is this going to take?
ME:
Oh Payton, such a naive young mantis, of course you’re not getting paid, you’re a praying mantis, you don’t need money. Anyways, back to the question, why do you choose not to believe in God?
PAYTON:
Uh, I remember my first interactions with theology came when I read Meditations on First Philosophy by René Descartes (yes, mantises read human literature). I thought that the text was an introduction to philosophy but I had not realised that the text actually aimed to prove the existence of God.
The first half of the text seemed completely logical to me in describing why almost everything cannot be known to be absolutely true. But then, Descartes just started making logical leaps across the philosophical pond and ended up with the conclusion that God was real.
This being my first interaction with philosophy, I was like, “what is happening?”. Afterwards, I realised that a lot of pre-Enlightenment philosophers actually believed in God.
Okay, at first I wasn’t even resistant to the idea of God being real, it just felt to me that theoretical arguments would only lead to theoretical results and practical absolute proofs for the existence of God have not been found, making God’s existence thus uncertain. I mean, if thousands of years of philosophers and scientists trying to prove God’s existence have not led to a conclusion, surely this is a pointless debate.
While I was discovering theology, I stumbled upon Camus’ absurdism which made much more sense to me, and those ideas have now been integrated into modern thought.
Maybe I was biassed towards the philosophical theory that already affirmed my lack of belief in any religions but regardless of that, this is why I don’t believe in God. It’s not a random lack of belief in a higher power, I remember actively trying to read books proving God’s existence, but they all just weren’t convincing to me.
I guess believing in God really is a matter of belief.
Why Payton sometimes prays to God even though he doesn't believe in God
ME:
Alright, Payton, no need to get all “dramatic summary sentence” on us just yet. Now that you have tried to explain why you do not believe in God in as logical a way as possible, it’s now time for us to wonder why you still prayed to God that night your girlfriend argued with you. I mean, it seems very hypocritical doesn’t it?
PAYTON:
Well, I guess I’m not alone in this, because a quick Google search will tell you that around 20% of self-proclaimed atheists pray on a regular basis in times of crisis.
Off the top of my head, there’s a simple reason that explains why atheists “pray to God”. But this simple reason isn’t what it seems to be. Let’s start with the simple and obvious reason.
Praying brings a sort of comfort to one. It allows us to acknowledge what is within our power and what is not, to create a sense of comfort.
For example, my prayers usually sound like this: “Please, please, please, let me find my missing wallet” or “I promise I will never play Overwatch again if you just let me ace this exam” (yes, mantises play Overwatch).These prayers direct the responsibility of finding my wallet or acing my exam to God in order to bring me comfort in knowing that this weight has been lifted off my shoulders by the hands of God himself.
ME:
But doesn’t praying to God go against your belief as an atheist?
PAYTON:
Yeah, as an atheist, the rational thing to do when a crisis stands in my way would be to use my own abilities to find a solution. That’s a no-brainer. Yet, I still revert to hoping that a miracle will make everything better when I wake up the next day if I just ask really politely because it’s stressful when you get stuck in a crisis and the solution’s either not clear or difficult to execute.
Like when a friendship is getting toxic and you know you need to end it or you’ll end up digging a bigger hole for yourself. It’s difficult to end a friendship. It’s easy to ask God to help you fix the relationship for you the next day because that gives you immediate comfort in knowing that the responsibility to fix the relationship is not yours.
Humans are not the only emotional beings on earth. As a mantis, I have emotions too. I only pray because of my emotions. I have never prayed because logic has compelled me to pray, for that to be the case, I guess I would need to be logically convinced that praying would lead to a concrete result. I only pray when my emotions of desperation or my stress wells up so much that I am driven to pray.
ME:
So I guess we can safely conclude that atheists pray in order to comfort themselves because they are irresponsible and lazy pigs.
PAYTON:
Okay, that sounds a bit aggressive. Maybe we aren’t irresponsible and lazy dogs, everyone needs some way to cope with overwhelming stress. It’s normal.
ME:
I was making a joke. Clearly it flew over your tiny mantis head.
PAYTON:
It didn’t sound much like a joke.
Anyways, back to the question. It would seem that we can safely conclude that atheists pray in order to comfort themselves because it’s normal for us to all have coping mechanisms to turn to when our emotions override all logic.
Yet, there’s another layer to this.
What prayers actually are
See, I googled the percentage of atheists who pray to God on a regular basis, but I never googled what a prayer actually is. The most basic definition will tell you that praying means to talk to God. Fair enough, when I say “Please God, please just let my girlfriend not be mad anymore”, that does fit the definition of talking to God.
But surely there’s a deeper layer to praying. Surely praying has some spiritual meaning to it.
I came across this quote by Abraham Joshua Heschel: “The focus of prayer is not the self. … It is the momentary disregard of our personal concerns, the absence of self-centred thoughts, which constitute the art of prayer.”
ME:
Wow, I didn’t know mantises were so learned.
PAYTON:
I did my research before coming here okay, asshole.
ME:
Woah, okay. Let’s get back to the quote.
PAYTON:
Yeah, I guess this quote alone made me change my perspective on praying. Different people pray differently, but fundamentally, praying is the act of conversing with God. Relooking at my kind of prayers, it would appear that those weren’t prayers at all, but just a desperate apostrophe designed to provide some sort of comfort and relief.
My interpretation of a true prayer in the fullest sense of the word would be something like
if your neighbour was diagnosed with stage 1 cancer and you genuinely prayed to God, hoping that God would give your neighbour the strength to make a full recovery soon. As long as it’s out of goodwill and genuine care for another person, I think that’s what a true prayer is.
It feels narcissistic to pray to God and ask God to solve your problems for you, assuming God is real. But if God was real, and we prayed to ask him to help someone else that was in need, that feels more genuine and kind. That feels like a prayer that brings out the best in us, and that feels like the kind of prayer that God would respond to if he was real.
ME:
So have you ever prayed for someone in this way?
PAYTON:
I guess not. But that’s not to say I’m 100% narcissistic. When I meet someone going through difficult times, I empathise with them too. I hope the best for them too. But I express this in a different way than through prayer. I express my gratitude or empathy through direct action, or sometimes I just keep it to myself. It doesn’t make me a worse mantis than a religious mantis.
ME:
Uh huh. It was nice meeting you, Payton. Hope to see you again soon. I hope your girlfriend comes back soon too.
PAYTON:
It was nice meeting you too.
Payton’s girlfriend came home a few days later. They figured things out and made up. Then they made love. Payton’s girlfriend did indeed devour Payton’s head whole that night.
Thanks to my friend Ying Kit for the art :D
